emotions (2 posts)

Good experience with Prednisone

Background: I have Crohn’s disease. I was diagnosed in winter 2009. I started taking Prednisone in summer 2011. My first dose was 40 mg for two weeks, then down 5 mg each week, so I guess about nine weeks in all.

It was amazing. The very first day, I felt like doing everything (whereas before, I felt like doing nothing). I was super energetic and super happy (whereas before, I was super tired and super depressed). I also ate a lot, which for some people, might be a concern, but I weighed 90 pounds at the time, so I was quite glad to gain another 30 pounds. There were no mood swings or acne or swelling. It was just amazing.

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So this is depression

All my losing weight, throwing up, and general unhealthiness has not been an eating disorder. It was (and still is) just plain depression.

I think it was previously suggested to me that it might be, but I was in denial. I mean, depression? Depression is for high school kids who cut themselves and dye their hair black. I’m not depressed. I don’t want to be depressed. That’s so useless.

When I’m throwing up, I think, “Why is this happening? This is so dumb.” I guess this all goes back to me not really liking to show my emotions. I don’t want people to fret over me or help me. I don’t want to take up people’s time with childish emotions.

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